She looks cute with her blue pants. Surely she is coming back home. I don’t know why, but she seems as if she had ended with something. Maybe she had a very hard day and now she is thinking to take a rest. She is on, besides the pants she is wearing a blue coat, both go pretty together, and large green boots which go up to her knees. She isn’t too much tall, but some kind of elegance covers her walking. Her name is Lily, i can see it on a stamp that is on her brown leather handbag.
Even though i can’t see her eyes, her face either, i’m sure she is looking at the floor. The way in which her head is, can insinuate it. Or maybe she is watching her green boots. They are amazing! The way in which she moves them as well. First the right foot, now the left one. And so on. This is the way in which she walks. Nothing particularly different from others except the way in which she puts her feet on and she takes them out. I believe most people use to put their feet entirely, as if they were pretending to leave their own footprints on the sidewalk. She, instead, puts her toes before the rest of her feet as a ballet dancer who is making a great performance. She is sure of her way. She goes on walking in this way until she stops in front of a glass-window. It’s a common store where some clothes are shown. It doesn’t seem her style to wear. The clothes that someone can find in that kind of store are as common as boring. Is she looking for a gift? It doesn’t seem either. In reality it seems as if she were looking at her own image through the glasses. Yes, behind the sunglasses she has put on she is looking at herself. Maybe she isn’t coming back home. Maybe she is going to somewhere to meet someone. I don’t know. Nevertheless she hasn’t watched the time not even once. If someone were waiting for her she should be worried about time. It isn’t the case, evidently. Or maybe she is sure the one is going to wait, despite her delay.
I would like to be the person who is waiting for her. I would like to meet her. She looks like a good mix of beauty and intelligence. I never had the opportunity to know a woman like her. Always the same kind of women, looking for a serious relationship in spite of their non serious minds. Easy women, complicate women, nice women and awful women. Despite their differences, at last all of them proved the same. All of them wanted the same. Family, kids, home, fidelity, etc. Never did they think about what I wanted. I tried to explain through different ways what I wanted. Anyway, nobody was interested in that. I tried to find the way in which they could understand me. I used slight manners to show what I needed. Slight manners, slight words, a slight world where my whishes could be listened. But, how were that kind of simple women going to understand my non simple message? Evidently it wasn’t possible. So, the story was a lot of wrong meetings in which i tried to reach something better for me without finding it.
She, instead, seems to be that kind of woman who can understand me. I’m sure that if I had the opportunity she would be the right person. Oh! What is she doing now? Her feet seem doubtful. It seems as if they were trying to change the way. Has she mistaken the road? They are turning round. She is turning round. Now i can see her mouth opening. A few words are going out from there. It is asking something…something like “what do you want?”
Suddenly i feel sick. The world is going around my head quickly. I believe i’m going to fall down over the floor. A lot of shine color lights are covering my eyes. I can’t see anything else but i can already feel her presence. She is waiting for my answer. In spite of my sickness i’ m doing a great effort to give her an answer. At last i reach a word…
Nothing, i mumble.
Why has Lily forgotten her handbag? I know she needs it a lot. She told me that, and just in case she phoned me to ask me if i could take it to her home. I said i didn’t have any trouble to do that. So, now she is waiting for her handbag at home. And, it is right. Everything is right, except these fucking boots. I can’t believe they can be so uncomfortable. How could i buy them? I remember that afternoon when i did it. It was the beginning of the last winter. As always i didn’t have anything to put on, neither sweaters nor boots. Always the same thing happens. When a new season begins i find my closet as empty as i had never bought any clothes in all my life. When it happens i use to become desperate, and i get away looking for something to wear. That afternoon was the first cold one of last winter. I had thought to take my time to find new boots. So, i took my credit card and went to shopping. At first all my attention was focused on boots but some time later i didn’t know what i was looking for anymore. My sight was lost and also the afternoon. When i realized it i began to turn nervous. I knew i needed to buy winter clothes, specially boots. I remember i thought to come back home without buying anything. And then i came across them. I came in the store and asked to try them on. They were my foot size number and they had a strange green color that i found cool. Besides, they weren’t so expensive. Whatever, i bought them without any doubt. I never thought they could be so terrifying.
And now i’ m walking having them on my feet and i can’t think another thing rather than to take them out. I can’t put up with them. The only thing i want is to come back home and to have my feet bare. Nevertheless i have to walk up to Lily’s to turn her handbag back to her.
When i left the office i thought to take a taxi but i couldn’t find any. The street seems a great jungle. Everybody looks to be in hurry. Walkers and cars everywhere. I’m not in a hurry but it seems as if i were being pushed by the current. I should stop just a minute, or maybe a little more. It would be great for my feet.
Is there someone following me? I can’t be sure but I feel like a shadow behind me. Since three blocks ago i can feel it. Is that man who is standing a few meters behind me the person I feel? I can see his face on the glasses, he looks as if he were looking at nothing. He doesn’t seem waiting for anything. He doesn’t seem interested in anything either. No, it can’t be possible. He doesn’t look like this kind of man. He looks satisfied with his life. He should be a good father and also a good husband. He should have a good job, surely he works as a doctor. He has the doctor’s security even in the way he looks at nothing. I guess his family weekend, playing with the children, enjoying the company of his wife. She should be this kind of woman who would never buy boots like these. These fucking boots! I’d better go on my walking before Lily gets angry with me.
Even though i can’t be sure, i already feel that someone is following my way. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. I don’t know. What would it happen if i turned myself round? What would i find? Am i going to keep the doubt? Is it the meaning of life, going everytime right without turning round? I don’t really know what to do.
Now the shadow is coming close to me. I can see it almost in front of my sight. If i wanted i could step on it with my boots. I have to do something, I don’t want to step on it. I can’t put up with it. I have to turn round.
I can see its expression and at the same time i can’t see the shadow anymore. It has disappeared. In front of me the man who looked like a doctor is. Now he looks different. It seems as if he were anxious. Although it doesn’t seem so, he is shaking, slightly. I try to find his eyes but i can’t. It seems as if they were lost on a further thing that i can’t see, as if they were looking for something that isn’t in the place it was supposed to.
Beginning of winter. Some clouds are moving around the sky. The sun is still shining. 5:30 PM. A cold wind begins to move the leaves of the trees. The street is full of people. People walking, people driving, people everywhere. Many of them have left their common occupation until next day. It could be possible that some of them never come back there in spite of the fact that they don’t know anything about that. Not even do they think in it. Surely they said “till tomorrow” without consciousness that it can be the last time to say it. Whatever, they only think to go on with their lives.
I don’t know the real reason, but among the crowd my eyes are staring at a woman who is walking quickly. I would like to ask her why she is wearing these uncomfortable green boots. I would prefer another kind of character, someone a bit special, for instance she could take the boots off and go on her road just on her naked feet. It would be an interesting situation for a tale. But she doesn’t do that. She insists on ending the action in the same way she has begun it. What can I do? May I change anything about her decision?.
The another one, the man, i don’t know what’s up with him. He is a little peculiar. In some sense he seems a little freak. What is he doing following a strange woman? What does he want with such attitude? He is complaining about his bad luck as if he had nothing to do with it.
I don’t know why i chose these characters. Even more, i can’t find the way to get on with them. I would like to have a brief exchange with both. But i think it will never happen. While i wonder about this kind of things, i am also following them through the city. We have walked three or four blocks, i can’t be sure. We look like a row, first the woman, one meter back the man, and after him, here i am.
The sun begins to fall down all over the street. Some little shadows begin to appear. They will rise soon and the city will be full of them.
Everything goes on just like this until something unexpected happens. After they go across the next block, the streetlight changes its color, and with the red color in front of me i have to stop to wait green. I’m afraid of losing them. Suddenly i become anxious. It seems as if time were passing slowly. Green color again. Luckily they aren’t very far. The woman is looking at a glass window. I don’t know what she is looking for. The man is already in his position. I have time to turn back to mine. All of us are standing without doing anything until the walking begins again. However i feel something has changed. The man is focused on the floor. The last block he hasn’t stared at another thing. She, instead, seems to be thinking about something. Despite her effort in faking it, I think she realized that someone is following her. Evidently. It seems as if she were pretending to turn herself round. What is she going to do now? Is she going to face him? What is she going to say when she finds him in front of her sight? Has she forgotten Lily is waiting for her handbag? She doesn’t have time to stop her walking. Nevertheless she is doing it. It’s too late to change the stuff.
6 PM Some weak sunlights can be still seen. Sooner or later night is going to appear. It begins to be cold. The shadows have disappeared. So have they.
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