Para finalizar, todavía se añade aquí una advertencia. Después de atravesar las aguas, sólo se le puede a uno hundir la cabeza cuando con frivolidad vuelve a dirigirse hacia el agua. Mientras uno marcha hacia adelante sin mirar atrás, se salva uno del peligro. Pero hay cierta atracción seductora en el deseo de detenerse para mirar hacia atrás y contemplar el peligro superado. Lo cierto es que semejante vanidosa autocontemplación, como en un espejo, no aporta ninguna dicha. Esto sólo conduce al peligro y si uno no se decide a tiempo a avanzar incesantemente hacia adelante, será víctima de ese peligro.
arriba, K´an, Lo abismal, el agua
abajo Li, Lo adherente, el fuego
del I ching
¡¡¡Muy Feliz 2012!!!
viernes, 16 de diciembre de 2011
lunes, 12 de diciembre de 2011
Mr. hard heart
Mr. Duke Dick, DD as everyone used to call him, was smoking nervously in the hall when Dr. Tass came in and told him everything was all right. He had stopped smoking since last year when he had decided to put an end with his agitated way of life. His wife had been happy with his decision, at last “they could enjoy their life together and live as a family”. She had dreamed with the white dress, the house with the backyard, the plants, the dog and kids. Nothing had gone in this way. He had spent most of his time and also his money emptying gin bottles. At the end, he had lost his strength. His life was a complete mess. Work and friends seemed to be vanished. And, last but not least, Sondra was meeting someone else. Like a great magician, he turned his life down to up. Three months later the new was announced. Sondra was pregnant.
“The mother and the boy are perfectly well, in a few minutes you will be able to see them. Yes, take it easy, everything is ok now. But, well, you know, there is something else i want to tell you. How can i do it? Oh, let me see…I told you, both are very well but there is something…I don’t know…I had read it on some special medical books but i had never seen a case directly…Your boy…has a peculiar condition…anyway…his heart is harder than usual…it is a very peculiar condition, nothing specially alarming except a peculiar detail on it which is called HHS, Hard Heart Syndrome added the doctor pretending to be more especific . And, what does it mean?, Mr. DD mumbled. Nothing particularly important except that his heart would not suffer a lot from difficult circumstances, Dr. Tass explained.
So, it was like that. In spite of that fact, firstly Mr. and Mrs. Dick took care of the baby with a lot of dedication, but when time began to go by, they turned more confident and relaxed. At the age of four he could remain alone in a dark room with no signal of excitation until someone appeared. He had no anguish at any kind of animals or ghosts. Maybe because of his condition or just by chance, the boy hadn’t suffered any kind of illness or accident. His life went on and he grew up living as if his body were in a pressure box. He had witnessed tremendous circumstances and his heart had always pounding in the same way. He could be in danger or he could be in an easy situation. He could be afraid of something or he could feel in peace. He could feel worried about something or he could feel in calm. Whatever he felt, his heart went on in the same constant rhythm. He was absolutely sure he wasn’t going to die from a heart attack. His heart was so hard and strong, so impermeable at every kind of different circumstances that nothing could happen to it.
Nevertheless he didn’t feel like a lucky man. He perfectly knew his life had been full of cut endings. His heart could be strong, but his mind couldn’t be that. He had a lot of bad memories which used to visit him again and again. He wished to find the way in which he could get rid of them. They were awful images, but he couldn’t have feelings according to them. They were images without feelings. Many times he had blamed himself for being a man who didn’t have a good heart. But, it wasn’t the case. He had a good one, a bit peculiar, but anyway, it wasn’t so bad.
He still remembered when his puppy was crashed by a car. That noon he had come back home walking without any sign of agitation or something like that. Despite the absent feelings, the scene was recorded in his mind. Something similar happened many years later, when he met Silly, his ex, having sex with his best friend. He had never felt any shift in the way in which his heart pounded. However he had thought to kill him.
Dr. Tass was right, he had an unbelievable hard heart.
He was thinking about this story while he was turned in bed. For the last two weeks he had kept there. Since then he didn’t wash his face, didn’t put clean clothes, didn’t eat anything else except what was staying at home, and he only went out of bed when he felt his body cramped. The last cigarette had gone some days before. He kept there with no willing at all, focused on his poundings, checking their monotony. Deep in his mind it seemed to be unexpected.
I don’t want to live with you anymore, she had said. I don’t want this kind of life. It’s enough, she had explained. I hate you! You are the best selfish I ever met. You, piece of ice. I’m going to leave you, i want to know nothing about you, you are so insensible, she had shouted while talking the luggage she had prepared the night before. Those had been the last words he had heard coming from her since she had gone out of his life.
And now, Mr. Hard Heart, DD JR as everyone used to call him, was in bed, trying to understand what had happened. How could she treat him in that way? What does it mean? Every word she had told him is wrong. Specially “piece of ice”, of course.
“The mother and the boy are perfectly well, in a few minutes you will be able to see them. Yes, take it easy, everything is ok now. But, well, you know, there is something else i want to tell you. How can i do it? Oh, let me see…I told you, both are very well but there is something…I don’t know…I had read it on some special medical books but i had never seen a case directly…Your boy…has a peculiar condition…anyway…his heart is harder than usual…it is a very peculiar condition, nothing specially alarming except a peculiar detail on it which is called HHS, Hard Heart Syndrome added the doctor pretending to be more especific . And, what does it mean?, Mr. DD mumbled. Nothing particularly important except that his heart would not suffer a lot from difficult circumstances, Dr. Tass explained.
So, it was like that. In spite of that fact, firstly Mr. and Mrs. Dick took care of the baby with a lot of dedication, but when time began to go by, they turned more confident and relaxed. At the age of four he could remain alone in a dark room with no signal of excitation until someone appeared. He had no anguish at any kind of animals or ghosts. Maybe because of his condition or just by chance, the boy hadn’t suffered any kind of illness or accident. His life went on and he grew up living as if his body were in a pressure box. He had witnessed tremendous circumstances and his heart had always pounding in the same way. He could be in danger or he could be in an easy situation. He could be afraid of something or he could feel in peace. He could feel worried about something or he could feel in calm. Whatever he felt, his heart went on in the same constant rhythm. He was absolutely sure he wasn’t going to die from a heart attack. His heart was so hard and strong, so impermeable at every kind of different circumstances that nothing could happen to it.
Nevertheless he didn’t feel like a lucky man. He perfectly knew his life had been full of cut endings. His heart could be strong, but his mind couldn’t be that. He had a lot of bad memories which used to visit him again and again. He wished to find the way in which he could get rid of them. They were awful images, but he couldn’t have feelings according to them. They were images without feelings. Many times he had blamed himself for being a man who didn’t have a good heart. But, it wasn’t the case. He had a good one, a bit peculiar, but anyway, it wasn’t so bad.
He still remembered when his puppy was crashed by a car. That noon he had come back home walking without any sign of agitation or something like that. Despite the absent feelings, the scene was recorded in his mind. Something similar happened many years later, when he met Silly, his ex, having sex with his best friend. He had never felt any shift in the way in which his heart pounded. However he had thought to kill him.
Dr. Tass was right, he had an unbelievable hard heart.
He was thinking about this story while he was turned in bed. For the last two weeks he had kept there. Since then he didn’t wash his face, didn’t put clean clothes, didn’t eat anything else except what was staying at home, and he only went out of bed when he felt his body cramped. The last cigarette had gone some days before. He kept there with no willing at all, focused on his poundings, checking their monotony. Deep in his mind it seemed to be unexpected.
I don’t want to live with you anymore, she had said. I don’t want this kind of life. It’s enough, she had explained. I hate you! You are the best selfish I ever met. You, piece of ice. I’m going to leave you, i want to know nothing about you, you are so insensible, she had shouted while talking the luggage she had prepared the night before. Those had been the last words he had heard coming from her since she had gone out of his life.
And now, Mr. Hard Heart, DD JR as everyone used to call him, was in bed, trying to understand what had happened. How could she treat him in that way? What does it mean? Every word she had told him is wrong. Specially “piece of ice”, of course.
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